Magpie 107

 He painted my portrait, did Paul,

And boy, did my pride take a fall!
I’ve either changed sex,
Or I need some new specs
‘Coz it doesn’t look like me at all.

MAGPIE 107

Magpie 107

 He painted my portrait, did Paul,

And boy, did my pride take a fall!
I’ve either changed sex,
Or I need some new specs
‘Coz it doesn’t look like me at all.

(Sorry, I couldn't save the picture.)

MAGPIE TALES 106

                                                                  

DREAMS OF BUYING SOUP

I wonder now, soup

Does one eat it or drink it?
Peculiar thought, but
I so often think it.
Does one eat it like food?
Does one drink it like squash?
Am I crouching or kneeling,
Or shrunk in the wash?

MAGPIE TALES 105

                                                          

Phone A Rainbow

 Violet, purple and neon green,

Orange and very dark blue,
I can sing a phone box,
Sing a phone box,
And a cycle too.

 Apologies to “The Rainbow Song”, but this one was difficult

MAGPIE TALES 104

     STUNT FOR CHARITY

With a painted expression

Of absolute bliss,

She lay back on the

Bloke-covered floor,

But later she wished Seb

Would just move his hand,

As her armpit was

Getting quite sore.

MAGPIE TALES 103

                                                                        

SUBTLE REVENGE

I bought this at a car boot
So slinky, posh and bright
It only cost me fifty P,
I fell for it at sight

 Looks a right treat on me mantle,

With them fingers long and tall,
Underneath my Albert’s photo
Hanging up there on the wall.

  His bit of stuff ‘ad ‘ands like that,

The cow! She fleeced ‘im rotten,
He didn’t think I knew of ‘er,
But no, I’ve not forgotten.

MAGPIE tALES 102

                                                                      CHILD'S PLAY
              

                                                                 

MAGPIE TALES 102

Red spot, God wot ,
But why not green?
A kid could do this,
It’s obscene.
The kid looked up
replying coyly,
“I did it all….
Except the Doily.”