Tuesday 6 March 2012


Magpie 107

 He painted my portrait, did Paul,
And boy, did my pride take a fall!
I’ve either changed sex,
Or I need some new specs
‘Coz it doesn’t look like me at all.

Monday 5 March 2012

MAGPIE 107


Magpie 107

 He painted my portrait, did Paul,
And boy, did my pride take a fall!
I’ve either changed sex,
Or I need some new specs
‘Coz it doesn’t look like me at all.

(Sorry, I couldn't save the picture.)

Sunday 26 February 2012

MAGPIE TALES 106




                                                                  
DREAMS OF BUYING SOUP

I wonder now, soup
Does one eat it or drink it?
Peculiar thought, but
I so often think it.
Does one eat it like food?
Does one drink it like squash?
Am I crouching or kneeling,
Or shrunk in the wash?


Wednesday 22 February 2012

MAGPIE TALES 105



                                                          
Phone A Rainbow

 Violet, purple and neon green,
Orange and very dark blue,
I can sing a phone box,
Sing a phone box,
And a cycle too.

 Apologies to “The Rainbow Song”, but this one was difficult

Sunday 12 February 2012

MAGPIE TALES 104

     STUNT FOR CHARITY
With a painted expression
Of absolute bliss,
She lay back on the
Bloke-covered floor,
But later she wished Seb
Would just move his hand,
As her armpit was
Getting quite sore.

Sunday 5 February 2012

MAGPIE TALES 103

                                                                        


SUBTLE REVENGE
I bought this at a car boot
So slinky, posh and bright
It only cost me fifty P,
I fell for it at sight

 Looks a right treat on me mantle,
With them fingers long and tall,
Underneath my Albert’s photo
Hanging up there on the wall.

  His bit of stuff ‘ad ‘ands like that,
The cow! She fleeced ‘im rotten,
He didn’t think I knew of ‘er,
But no, I’ve not forgotten.

Sunday 29 January 2012

MAGPIE tALES 102

                                                                      CHILD'S PLAY
              
                                                                 
MAGPIE TALES 102

Red spot, God wot ,
But why not green?
A kid could do this,
It’s obscene.
The kid looked up
replying coyly,
“I did it all….
Except the Doily.”
            

Thursday 26 January 2012

Magpie Tales 101




                                                                       
ADVERTISING, OR WHAT?

“White Company” or “Jo Malone?”
Black- ribboned, folded, stark, alone.
Her nakedness and lank black locks
Would look much posher in a box.

Monday 16 January 2012

MAGPIE TALES 100


                                                                            


STONE COLD

The only thing to do is sleep,
The cold cuts like a knife,
But little “things” keep waking me,
To give the kiss of life.

Wednesday 4 January 2012

SUMMER NEW YEAR

                                                                         
SUMMER NEW YEAR

Why can’t we have New Year in summer?
Or in spring when the weather is warm?
We’d feel much brighter and less full of cold,
Not feel a-hundred and fifty years old,
That our “sell-by” date’s gone and we haven’t been sold,
Like we do in a January storm.

Why can’t we have New Year in Summer?
Resolutions might actually last.
(We’d not feel wretched or brim full of flu,
Hung-over or bloated by post festive “do”)
We might even feel like seeing them through,
Unimpeded by January’s blast.

New Year would be lovely in summer,
We might even mean what we say
When we wish “Happy New Year” to all that we meet,
While dressed for the sun as we walk down the street,
Topped off with a smile for all that we greet;
Wish it was on the first day of May.


Tuesday 3 January 2012

MAGPIE TALES



                                                                        

 ROUND THE BEND

 Oh, do let us go round the bend, you and me,
That bend in the river, there,
There probably isn’t all that much to see,
-More river, more bend and another damned tree-
Such fun round the bend, on our own, it would be;
That bend in the river, there.