Wednesday, 28 October 2015

LOUSY DRIVER October 28th

when I started to get around in this, other drivers gave me a sympathetic smile and a very wide birth.  They fell over themselves to help me, and seemed glad to have me among them. 
However, this didn't stop me from being a lousy driver and being frequently stopped by whining motorbikes driven by a bemused policeman.  One such stopped me in the middle of Sevenoaks, strolled over to me nonchalantly, looking like an oversized Michelin man in his leather gear.
He tapped on the window.  I opened it and said cheerily, "Hello, Officer, what have I done wrong?"   He removed his helmet and said very slowly,
"Well, Madam, I'm afraid I've head some complaints about your driving."
"That doesn't surprise me, I'm not a very good driver."
The poor man looked as if he'd been pricked by a pin; in fact I could almost hear and see the air coming out of his leathers.  Open mouthed, he appeared to shrink

    To give himself a bit of breathing space and gather up his shredded dignity and status, he put his hands behind his back and walked slowly round my vehicle.  Ending up beside me at the window once more, he said, "To be honest, Madam, you haven't got much to be a good driver in, have you."  I thought this was rather rude, having seen men twice his size pale at the thought of going anywhere near one. 

These are off the road now and not many years later the seat belt law came in just as I became pregnant, and the seat belt I had wouldn't stretch so I moved on to a 50 cc motorbike, but that's another story.



rhymeswithplague said...

My goodness. I can't tell whether that thing is coming or going! But it is very cute.

I think you meant gave you a wide berth. At least I hope that's what you meant....

ADRIAN said...

Good lord an Invacar. Was yours the smokey one or the terrifying high performance model. My uncle had one of the latter and it would do about 70mph.

Rosamund Browne said...

Hi, Adrian. I tell you, it was an absolute DEATH TRAP. I turned it over twice. I asked the policeman to drive it home for me. He didn't look too well when he got out of it. "I hope I never have to drive one of them again," he said with feeling

ADRIAN said...

Yes they were. Whoever thought they were a good idea wanted a good slap. I remember going out to to him home in the snow and the front wheel was of course bouncing about all over the place as it was in the lumpy stuff in the middle of the road. I was a bit cruel and thought it hilarious.